Chaos, trauma, and loneliness defined Shimaine Holley’s childhood, with frequent moves between youth detention, foster care, and psychiatric facilities. Now 27, she is founder and CEO of Change is Inevitable LLC and offers trainings on topics related to youth justice, including child welfare policy, trauma-informed care, adolescent brain development, and strategies to prevent and intervene in childhood trauma.
As a 9-year-old in Albany, GA, Shimaine Holley looked forward to “daddy-daughter days” with the man she called her stepfather. With her own father in prison, one-on-one time with a grownup felt special. Now, at age 27, Ms. Holley knows the man was grooming her for something more sinister.
Sometime around Shimaine’s 10th birthday, his attention turned sexual. When Shimaine spoke up about it, her mother accused her of lying, Ms. Holley says.
“I had been suffering silently, trying to cope with the abuse that was happening to me, but it all came to a breaking point when I realized that my mother didn’t believe me,” Ms. Holley says. “That was devastating because, at that moment, I lost one of the few people I thought I could trust.”
Violent outbursts revealed Shimaine’s despair. She cussed and fought at home and in school, “lashing out, being angry,” she says. Child Protective Services—already involved in a sibling’s life—opened a case for Shimaine, too. She saw therapists and took a variety of medications. But as the abuse continued, Shimaine’s behavior worsened. Police officers were called to her home repeatedly. The first time Shimaine stayed at a psychiatric facility, she arrived in the back of a police car.
Shimaine cycled in and out of psychiatric facilities and group homes throughout her adolescence—“a constant rollercoaster” of new faces, new rules, and unknown expectations, never in one place long enough to develop real friendships. There were short spells when she lived with relatives, but between her fighting and running away, none lasted long. In youth detention, Shimaine learned to rely on herself, mask her vulnerability, and trust no one. “I was so full of trauma,” she says now.
Shimaine lived in 14 different foster care placements between ages 13 and 18. Her final placement—at the Anne Elizabeth Shepherd Home, a group home for females who have experienced sexual trauma—was where she finally learned what it means to feel safe. It was the only group home she didn’t run away from, the “only place I found who I was as a person,” she says. The staff there provided a safe space to cope with her trauma and grow. She received intensive therapy and created her “trauma narrative”—a psychological technique that helped her process, reframe, and make sense of her past, diminishing the pain her memories caused.
“I felt seen. I felt heard. I knew they cared for me. . . . They allowed me to make mistakes without calling the police.”
—Shimaine Holley
Ms. Stacy introduced her to crossword puzzles, for example, laughing as she challenged Shimaine to expand her vocabulary beyond curse words. She also gave hugs and listened. “She let me know I’m seen. I’m loved. I’m valued,” Ms. Holley says. Ms. Davida was “a mother like no other” who looked beyond Shimaine’s outbursts and saw the child within. And Mr. Carlos’s counsel helped her to heal. The abuse Shimaine endured was not her fault, Mr. Carlos asserted. Over time, she started to believe him.
When she aged out of the foster care system at 21, the transition to independence meant shedding habits that “didn’t serve me well in the real world,” Ms. Holley says. She found freedom disorienting, but the caring adults from the Anne Elizabeth Shepherd Home—and mentors from NECCO Independent Living and EmpowerMEnt—stood by her, providing both emotional and practical support. They remain in Ms. Holley’s life today, loving, challenging, and supporting her.
Ms. Holley calls those mentors her family. They urged her to study and go to college, saying that “education is the way out,” she recalls. She enrolled in Albany State University, earning both associate’s and bachelor’s degrees in sociology. Today, she is completing a master’s in sociology at Troy University with an eye toward pursuing a Ph.D. “The higher I go, I feel untouchable,” Ms. Holley says. “I feel unstoppable.”
Ms. Holley and her husband of five years recently moved from Texas to North Carolina and into a new home. She works as a site coordinator for the Department of the Army and is founder and CEO of Change is Inevitable LLC, where she works as an advocate and consultant, sharing her lived expertise in the juvenile justice and foster care systems.
“After everything I’ve been through—the challenges, the pain, and the uncertainty—emerging on the other side as someone strong, capable, and full of love is something I cherish deeply,” Ms. Holley says. “It gives me a sense of fulfillment and direction, knowing that my experiences, both good and bad, have led me to this path where I can make a difference and live with intention and mindfulness.”