NCJ Number
195720
Date Published
April 2001
Length
48 pages
Annotation
This guide describes 10 important features of mentor attitudes
and styles that facilitate the building of positive relationships
with mentees.
Abstract
Steps to build a positive relationship with a mentee is to first, be a friend, which involves not acting like a parent; not
trying to be an authority figure; not preaching about values; and
focusing on establishing a bond, a feeling of attachment, a sense
of equality, and the mutual enjoyment of shared time. Second,
have realistic goals and expectations. This means focusing on the
mentee and his/her overall development, centering goals on the
relationship itself, and emphasizing friendship over performance.
Third, have fun together, which communicates reliability and
commitment. Fourth, give the mentee voice and choice in deciding
on activities. This can include the development of a range of
possible activities, the creation of an "idea file" together,
listening, and emphasizing that what the mentee feels and wants
is important. Fifth, be positive by offering frequent expressions
of confidence in the mentee and providing concrete assistance
that helps build mentee self-confidence. Other guidelines for
building the relationship with a mentee are to let the mentee
have much of the control over conversations; listen; respect the
trust your mentee places in you; remember that the relationship
is with the youth and not the youth's parents; and remember that
you are responsible for building the relationship.
Date Published: April 1, 2001